My last post was January 5th. Who would have thought that just a week & a half later would be the scariest moment this mom has ever experienced.
I'm not going to go into a lot of details of the who's & what's of the experience, but as many of you know in January Jameson became very sick with the croup. Yes, the croup. You know, that thing when you cough & someone asks if you're okay, and you reply with "ahh, its just the croup." Well, let Jameson be a reminder that its NEVER "just the croup."
A little info (& I'm no DR of RN, so bear with me): the croup is swelling around the vocal chords causing difficulty breathing. It causes that "barking" cough you may associate with it. An infant should take around 30-40 breaths a minute, Jameson was taking around 70, causing his body to work twice as hard & we didn't know when/if his little body was going to give up, causing concern.
Anyway, after a weekend of seeing doctors, giving around the clock medicine, doing everything imaginable we could for him, we take him to the doctor for 3rd time on Tuesday, January 17th and finally find out its serious. Beyond serious actually. We were sent straight to the hospital & 7 nurses immediately begin to work on him as soon as we walk in the doors. You talk about a scary moment for a Mom to stand back & watch & not be able to help when her 9 month old baby is laying on the table screaming at the top of his lungs while trying to catch a breath, any breath. After shots & treatments, nothing was working. (And the tears are rolling even as I type this).
We were faced with the decision to transfer him to Johnson City's Children's Hospital. Due to the crazy thunderstorms we were having that day, he couldn't be taken by flight. This caused even more problems. The decision about who could take him by ambulance, was he going to make it there all came into play. The decision was finally made to intubate him (put the tube in his throat & conduct his breathing for him) and a specialty pediatric team from Johnson City came to get him.
We arrived & the doctors were able to get his breathing under control enough to take the tube out. We spent a week in Pediatric ICU with around the clock treatment. He was having breathing treatments every hour, medicine, oxygen, the works. He wasn't allowed to eat due to everything he was on, so we just sat there with him, rocked him, & prayed like crazy.
In the end, he made a quick turn-around & we were able to bring him home (something I was beyond terrified to do. As tired as I was & ready to get home, I was so scared leaving that hospital without the doctors, nurses, and emergency buttons to rely on). He recovered quickly, but we spent weeks getting him off that schedule of waking up EVERY HOUR for treatments. Oh my. We were already exhausted from the stress & hospital stay, but to have to wake up EVERY HOUR with our baby that was terrified every time he woke up was hard. I know, I know. I tried to remember to count my blessings that he was home, he was well.. but it was still hard.
Okay, enough of this. That was pretty much January.
February we spent trying to get back to "normal." As many of you know, I was pregnant with our 3rd child at this time, morning sickness still haunted me every day, multiple times a day. We were trying to get back into the routine of Olivia's Library school & gymnastics, & Brandon working like crazy. Did we do anything "over-the-top"? No, but February was still busy.
April is the busiest month in the Bevins household. There is not a more important month than April for us. We started out with party day on the 7th. Olivia & Jameson celebrated with a simple "Thing 1, Thing 2" party. We tried to downsize, keep it very simple. I didn't have a lot of strength to do a lot since I was battling a tough pregnancy, & (for the second year in a row) throwing a party while 9 months pregnant. But did the kids notice? Of course not. They enjoyed it. And seeing their faces made me enjoy it. They're my whole world & I love making them feel special - something I hope I accomplished on this day, as well as something I try to do everyday.
The next day was Easter. So after that weekend, we were exhausted. But was April's festivities over yet? Heck No!
April 10th, we celebrated Olivia's 3rd birthday. I took Olivia to get her haircut for the very first time. Yes, 3 years old & she's just now getting her hair trimmed for the first time. She was so excited. We finished the day with cake & presents.
April 13th was Brandon's birthday. We went to Reno's to celebrate the night.
April 15th was Jameson's 1st birthday. We made it a year. I couldn't believe it. Jameson has been my little buddy, such a sweet natured baby. After what we went through in January, this day made us remember to celebrate a little extra.
Whew!! We made it through Bevin's birthday week. You'd think we were home free, right? Of course not. We were still anxiously waiting for the arrival of our 3rd baby any day now. And we still didn't know if it was a boy or girl.
Finally, on April 24th my water broke. At 1:27pm, we welcomed a boy, Christian Ryan Bevins into the world. What a blessing! You'd think as much as I've been through labor in the last 3 years, it would be "just another day" to me, but its not. We didn't plan, expect, try for this baby. He came against all odds, he put us through some of our hardest moments (ie: when mom's down, the house falls apart. we found this out too many times.) But he was here. At 8 pounds & 19 inches, Christian was here in our arms, and every day I thank God for this unplanned blessing.
May & June has been nothing but what Brandon & I call "survival." At the end of the day, if we're all fed, semi-clean, & no ER trips, that's a VERY successful day. Because when you have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, & a newborn, nothing else matters in the world but these 3 little hearts looking at me for guidance, comfort, food, necessities, but most of all... love. I've stated many times lately how God absolutely did NOT design my hands for 3 children, but he most certainly designed my heart for 3.
So I'll finish out this blog post with the 2 questions I get day in & day out.
1) Am I done? Oh mercy, if I had a penny, just one penny, for every time I've gotten this question. Its unreal, unfathomable, how many people are just curious to know. Here's the answer. I DON'T KNOW. Only God knows if he'll ever send more children our way. I'm 24 years old, to make such an important, life changing decision to do something permanent is unthinkable to me. (I completely understand its the right choice for many even younger, not a thing wrong with it). But being so young, I'm not ready to say "NEVER". Do I want any more children in the next 5 to 10 years, good Lord NO. Will I want children after 5 or 10 years.. maybe not. If the Lord says I'm done, Amen. He's blessed me beyond measure. If He says He's not done with us yet, well... we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Random: Am I pulling a Duggar on leaving all of our chances up to God? Well, that's a question you'll just have to keep wondering since this is a blog & that's definitely TMI. hahahahaha! :)
2) What's it like at home with 3 so young? Its incredible. Its hard, there's plenty of moments that I just wanted to sit in a corner & cry. There's been a few times that I thought that if this was a paying job, I'd so quit because there's not enough money in the world for this stress. But its truly the most incredible feeling at the end of the day when I go to each of their beds to check on them while they sleep. I know in this economy I am truly a blessed momma that 1) I chose to stay home and 2) I'm able to stay home. The kids have had to learn to wait sometimes (again, my hands are not made for 3). Sometimes in the 3 minutes of peace I get each day, I have to make the critical decision: Do I eat, sleep, or pee in peace. You can only choose one, and that's never an easy decision. But as each day passes, we're able to find more of a routine. Since Christian's arrival, I think I've even found myself being a better mom/housewife. Olivia & I do more crafts, I cook more meals, I take moments to enjoy Jameson's laugh, I sit in the floor with them (because let's be honest, I'm just too tired to stand any longer, haha), I play, I crank out the laundry 24/7 because if I don't, you can't catch up, I rock Christian to sleep & kiss his fat little cheeks over & over, and when Daddy's home, I try to sit & enjoy the moment with him. Especially at night when all 3 babies are sleeping & its just us on the couch. We enjoy the silence, we enjoy TV shows that does not start out with the Disney Jr. song, we enjoy eating the junk food & not feel guilty because we don't want to share. I truly find myself enjoying "the moments" more instead of being "mommy robot" & trying to accomplish my list. Although I'm still "list oriented," life isn't about lists. Its about the moments, & the good & bad, I'm soaking up them all. That is what my life is like at home.
I hope you all have enjoyed. I hope I've not bored you too much. And I hope to get back to blogging in all of the free time I have now-days. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!